easy to ask question...rite answer is always hard to know.

sometime i feel i wanna be the acap i used to be
where there is no worries...its just fun 24-7
acap nver ever feel sad...what is more important to him is he know what he want
and what he want is fun...fun and more fun.
enjoy...enjoy and lot more of enjoy
that time he never worry bout his life
he has no time to think bout his future...
what important is now
"what ever will be, will be.." that time future was last thing in his list
what more important to him is to get what he want...
he love it...
he enjoy it...
study was never his prirority...
hey...
there a lot of private college out there...
so fail spm is nothing to acap
he have a parent who will do anyting for me
so he kept in his mind...
"i will do whatever i like n i gonna enjoy it till my last breath"

but

its that not the ahcap rite now?
he have future
he wanna be somebody, he has a dream
he wanna be happy but the same time he wanna ppl around him to be happy to
its no longer about selfish
he even let himself to get hurt coz he doesnt want ppl around him suffer the pain
he do everyting for his love one
he do anyting
he do whatever to his love one
its no more bout himself
its bout ppl around him
sometime he ignore what he want to make sure his love one smile
he dont want ppl suffer the pain...coz he cut himself
until he bleed himself
until he has nothin
does it worth?
he really dont know

sometimes

ahcap think he just wanna let his life
he wanna die
or
take his brain...wash his memories
so he doesnt have to remember anyting
its was so painfull
ahcal lost everyting
even his soul
he was no longer himself
he was no longer selfish or someone that care bout ppl around him
he lost everyting
he like a zombie
he like a puppet
he is nothin
he not himself
he wish he know who he is
but
longer he wish...more of himself gone
so...what should he do?
its easy to ask question?
but its always to know the rite answer...